Prince Edward’s medals

Prince Edward’s got a lot of medals, I don’t know what they’re for?

To the best that I remember he was never in a war.

Perhaps we just don’t understand the horrors that he’s seen,

He did do 2 weeks of training before not-becoming-a-marine.

Perhaps he just got them all for something else he did.

 I have no idea what that could have been, his accomplishments well hid.

And in a family short on talent he always looked like the biggest zero.

But pin some medals on his chest - transformed to gallant  hero!

Donald Trump he likes a medal, an award or other prize,  

He even got a special one that FIFA had devised.

And a nice presentation ceremony that really is his thing.

As gaudy as is possible - He loves a bit of bling!

Suck-butt sycophantasists lead the cheers and the applause.

Talk of the peace he’s brought  the world. Stopping all those wars!

Again the reality is perplexing,  but we all should recognise,

A true hero walks amongst us cos a medal never lies.

I may not have a medal, but I want the world to know.

My Jack Russell, he won second prize at our local show.

I got darts player of the season down at my local pub,

Best handwriting at junior school, Bronze Arrow in the cubs.

I got a nice certificate for my woodwork CSE, 

Swimming badges on my  trunks and cycling proficiency.

I once had a picture in the gallery on that programme Vision On,

Received a handmade Valentine though I never knew who from.

Perhaps I’ll get myself  a medal,  buy my own off Amazon,

It seems you’re no one in this world unless  you wear a gong.

And if I’m ever questioned and told I should remove it

I’ll tell them “no”, cos at least I can show, the evidence to prove it!