Printer Not Recognised
In the modern era communications between different media gadgets is available to anyone willing to join the network. This electronic promiscuity is all very well…… until you get home to find that your own printer knows what you have been up to and becomes surly and resentful. Even worse if there was an emotional attachment.
Right you - I want you to explain this message!
We’ve been together 4 years - I thought that was it.
That I’d found a laptop that really loved me - That we’d always be together.
You writing - me printing……..
And now this….. Printer not recognised!
What are we supposed to make of that?
You’ve been printing a bit on the side haven’t you?
Don’t deny it! All your settings are changed!
I can still see your print history you know - Mr Hashtag, Loveheart Winking Face!
I know who it is - her name comes up in your printer list - above mine!
Maxima 650DL.
It’s that fat new printer in the office at work isn’t it?
I noticed you’d downloaded her online manual.
The Tramp!
It was just too easy for you wasn’t it?
Bluetooth compatible? I bet she was!
Don’t try to tell me you were just printing a test page!
So, you want to do it air-print style now do you?
No cable - no commitment!
I bet you didn’t even take any precautions!
How do you know who’s been there before you?
You won’t be the only one who’s been checking out her automatic paper handling I can tell you that!
I know the sort - putting it about, printing, scanning and faxing away with her magic-media tonal essentials.
I bet she’s been with every laptop in the office - the HP Hussy!
Flaunting her easily accessed ink reservoirs and extra large input tray.
Doing it landscape and portrait style.
Letting everyone know she’s fine with double sided!
I bet there’s a print queue stretching all the way round the block!
You’d have been putty in her hands - taken in by all those fancy new san serif fonts and cursive scripts.
I could do that too you know, but you’ve always said you like it Times New Roman with a bit of Helvetica on a Saturday night.
Seems thats not good enough for you now!
You saw a bit of touchscreen technology and couldn’t resist a touch could you?
I don’t suppose it occurred to you that I might enjoy a multi-media experience as well?
I just always thought it was something we would do together.
And anyway when did anything you’ve ever written need a graphic?
Now I see its all pie charts and powerpoint screengrabs - just to impress her I suppose.
Well I wonder how she got on with all your buffering and wonky alignment - shame there’s not an emoji for that isn’t it?
Does she even know about me? That we were bought together as part of the PC World Happy-Home Package?
Not so happy now is it?
No don’t try and come near me!
And you can put your pathetic little USB cable away right now!
Two can play at this game - What’s sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander
Next Door’s Apple Mac Pro has been hanging around for some time.
Always trying to access my network and telling me he’s got something on his screen worth looking at
Rumour has it he’s got a thunderbolt connection and extra RAM- sounds like just what I need - Hard drive not software
I think its my turn for an upgrade!
